I’m not afraid to admit I’m a progressive

While arguing with a friend on twitter (yea, I know), he made this statement after a lengthy debate about morality.

“I’m 100% NOT progressive”.

It’s always seems odd to me that a progressive would resist the label. Then what are you? And why would you expect everyone else to agree with your ideas if they can’t even be defined in terms of what everyone else thinks? Good or bad, that’s what labels are for.

And don’t try to point me at some textbook definition of progressive. Here are some loose definitions of progressive that are more helpful:

- If you’re upset that the healthcare bill didn’t have a public option, you’re probably a progressive

- If you’re upset that teachers don’t get paid more and you hate private schools, you’re probably a progressive

- If you use words like “military industrial complex” with disdain and you think the defense budget should be slashed, you’re probably a progressive

- If you’re upset that banks weren’t allowed to fail and you want more regulation on the financial sector, you’re probably a progressive

Some more questions: Why do progressives feel like we’ve cornered the market on “morality”? Why do we think our definition trumps everyone else’s? And how do we so easily ignore that our definition is relatively new in the history of things? Now here’s the more important question. Why do we spend so much time arguing with each other (or violently agreeing in a lot of cases)?

In my opinion, the 2 biggest issues we have is a lack of shared goals and an inability to loosen our narrow definition of “right and wrong”. There are hundreds of millions of people in this country alone. And there are just as many definitions of right and wrong. You will never agree 100% with anyone. You will never find a political candidate that never does anything you don’t like.

The reason for this is that they don’t just represent you. They represent those 100s of millions of other people as well. And some of them have wildly different ideas about how they want their country run. The fact that you can so casually toss their opinions aside, accusing people of ignorance and immorality, hurts your ability to be seen as a rational and caring individual. Instead, you are selfish and myopic if you think your idea of utopia is what everyone should subscribe to.

Instead, what would be more helpful is for us to use both that sense of rationality and that genuine caring to try and reunite this fragmented country. To try and understand as many different types of people as possible so that we can include them in our vision of the future. They have viewpoints and problems and struggles that you can’t imagine. And these may have led them to a place that you feel is wrong. But the fact is they aren’t going anywhere. They were born and raised here same as you. Whether they are misguided is debatable. The fact that they have just as much a say in what happens with this country is not debatable.

So let’s put our considerable, well-educated minds towards some other important questions.

- What does it look like in an America where *no one* feels disenfranchised?

- What does it look like in an America with *true* tolerance for the opinions of others, as long as they don’t violate basic rights?

- What does it look like in an America where we do have direct impact on how our representatives behave? What does that system look like? How do we prevent it from being gamed and/or corrupted?

- What does it look like in an America where we retain national pride and identity without ignoring our interdependence with other nations around the globe or bending them to our will?

- How do we create an America where everyone is thinking in these terms rather than exclusion, blame, derision, narrow-mindedness and ultimately impotent anger?

I’ve heard all the indignant complaints. I want to hear solutions. And not vague ideals about what a general solution looks like. But real, concrete actions for you and I to take today to move toward those ideals. I don’t have any answers right now. I’m desperate for them. But I’m generally over the self-righteous complaining while doing basically nothing.

Sorry for this rant. But breaking out of this apathy is going to take drastic measures and radically different thought processes. I’m probably going to rant more here. For one, we need better definitions of “liberal” or “progressive” or whatever the hell we want to be called, so maybe I’ll try to tackle that. But we need to be together on this. Right now we are millions of individual voices. Each of which is easily ignored.

Open to suggestions

Those who know me know that I go back and forth between talking fervently about politics and being completely disgusted and swearing it off for a long while. Every time I come back around, I ask myself the really hard question, “What can I do to make things better?” The first thing I want to do is admit openly that each time I have failed miserably to rise to the challenge. I’m a little ashamed (only a little, more later on that). The rest of this post is just open musings about what’s in my head and what I can possibly do about it.

It’s also important to note that this current bout I’m having with the state of America is markedly different than previous ones. I’ve been opinionated about politics for a while. I lived in DC for 8 years and it’s difficult to escape it there. But as I read more about things like Occupy Wall Street, Congress throwing away our future for political capital, record profits for the rich; it all starts to be too much. I’m really angry right now. It’s that seething inner anger that won’t show on my face if we were sitting across from each other. But it’s welling up, and I think it’ll eventually boil over if something doesn’t change.

So what needs to change?

Well it would take me a long time to explain my politics. I don’t think any particular platform or ideology encompasses what I think makes sense. It’s safe to say I lean left. But I don’t have any beef with those that “lean right”. In general, conservatives have different values that they are entitled to. And what works for me may not work for them. In fact, I’ve had long talks with real conservatives and we have found lots of common ground to stand on. What’s making me angry right now is the people who are in control of this country; whatever side they are on. It is becoming more and more clear that have no idea what they’re doing, and they are perfectly fine with selling us all down the river if it means they get to sustain their way of life a while longer.

There are certain terms that get bandied about in politics. Terms like “elitist” and “out of touch”. Politicians use them to discredit opponents and at the same time suggest that they themselves are “empathetic”. But this is horse shit. If you were empathetic, you would find it horrifying that so many are out of work. If you were empathetic, you wouldn’t be trying to cut social assistance programs for these people that you’re so in touch with. If you were empathetic, you wouldn’t play chicken with each other about our debt crisis, and you wouldn’t send cops to beat college kids because they dare to ask for more porridge. They are all out of touch.

And I blame left-leaning officials, too. Obama has said nothing important about OWS. He has said nothingsignificant as people are gassed, shot, arrested, humiliated, defamed, fired and killed, all because they are asking what’s wrong with this country. Even those democrats that are patting themselves on the back are playing the game, instead of standing up and saying “we don’t have time to play this game, people need help”. They have also said nothing while Fox News and private billionaires have spread propoganda that stokes the fires of controversy and division. In my mind that does more damage to the solidarity of this country than even multiple, decade-long, overseas wars can do.

They don’t care about us. That’s the simple truth. We are a faceless mob to them. We are the unwashed masses that need to be kept in line. If this sounds deeply cynical, that’s because it is. But that doesn’t mean it’s false. I haven’t seen very much evidence to the contrary. All I’ve seen is politicians doing a poor job of pretending to govern. There are some that are secretly aware of how fucked up they are. But it’s unacceptable to demand that they explain themselves. There are some that are deluded into thinking they’re “good”. Even while they let atrocities happen despite being in a position to stop them cold.

So why don’t I protest?

Yeah, back to this question. There are some hard truths here. But I need to spit them out before I can start dealing with them. I have actually internalized the reasons why I don’t go out and protest.

For one, I’m not sure it’s really going to make a difference. I know that protests read well in history books, but I’m not convinced simply standing in the street for months is going to make those idiots change their tune. I admit that it would make a difference if the protestors numbers reached a critical mass. If everybody with a lame excuse like this would go out there anyway, the crowd would be too big to suppress or ignore. But then what? It is true that they have little direction and few concrete demands. Even the politicians who are listening aren’t going to come up with the answers themselves. I certainly don’t have the answers. Maybe if the OWS movement grows some outspoken and charismatic leaders, things will change for me. For now there have to be other things that happen combined with protest. I’m more interested in those things.

There’s also a more personal reason. I’m afraid to be a protestor. I’ve done very well for myself. My life is very comfortable. And if I’m honest with myself, I don’t feel any of the real affects of what’s going on in this country. I’m easily in the top 10% of earners and I have a lot to lose. All I have is empathy. But that’s not the core reason. I’m still a young black man in America. And I have the very real fear that if I step out of line, I will be dealt with harshly. The police are shooting rich white college kids. They do not have a history of showing restraint with people who look like me.

I have been extremely fortunate in my life. I’ve never been the direct target of racism. I’ve never felt particularly discriminated against. I’ve never had trouble furthering my career. In fact, I’ve had better luck than many of my white friends. But I have no delusions that this is all due to a combination of smarts, education and luck. Many black men are in jail. Many of those were sent there unfairly or sentenced much more harshly than necessary. Many free black men are convicted felons so they are not allowed to participate in our democracy by casting their vote. Many are poor and uneducated with no real skills and no real prospects to obtain those skills for themselves or their children.

I don’t think that throwing myself into the gauntlet and risking becoming another statistic is what I personally can do to make things better. What I can do, and will do, is become the outlier. I’m going to become more successful, have a wonderful family, educate my children and prepare them to be better citizens. I’m going to prove that I deserve this luck. And most importantly, I’m going to try to shift that needle so I’m not such an outlier. I hope these things will serve as an acceptable substitute for my presence. I stand with the protestors in spirit.

So what’s next?

I don’t know. It’s unlikely that I’ll protest, but I’m also reaching the end of my patience with being idle. I have to find something to do that I feel is significant. But that’s a tall order considering how cynical I am. Writing Congress is a waste of time. There is no elected official or candidate that has convinced me he gets it. Giving money is good, but utlimately makes me feel disconnected. Perhaps these are self-made obstacles and I need to just get over myself. I’m still working on it. Open to suggestions.

The Greatest Country in the World

I read a great article on the health care debate today.  You should check it out.  But more importantly, I was reading through the comments on the author’s site and one struck a chord with me.  I wanted to share it (and it was too long to tweet).

As a Canadian, I can’t but wonder at a country whose citizens boast of having a Constitutional right to own and carry killing weapons, but none to be cared for when they’re seriously ill. Just think about it.

The idea of whether universal health care is the right thing has always been a moral one to me.  This quote also made me extend my thoughts to the  talking points around the current debate.  Opponents of health care reform keep invoking the strawman of “socialized medicine”, as if letting government provide health care for all is somehow a bad thing.  First of all, those two are not the same.  That’s not even the real issue though.  We spend billions of dollars a year on newer and better ways to end life.  It’s something we readily allow “Big Government” to control.  They tell us how it’s done and we don’t even get a say in when, where and why they send our sons and daughters to die.  But we refuse to take responsibility as a nation for each other’s health.

I have more to say on this.  But no time.  Read the article, then write your Congressmen.

Having a Budget Means Making a Choice About Money

I just got a message from a friend of mine that made me think.  I asked a seemingly innocuous question on facebook.

What’s the better movie bet for this weekend? Pandorum http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/pandorum/ or Surrogates http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/10009598

And I got back a seemingly innocuous answer

Watch both

Well that sounds like a great idea.  Only there’s a reason I have to pick one.  The simple fact is I’m out of money for this month.  My girlfriend and I are on a budget, and I only have $22 more dollars to spend on entertainment.  So if the two of us take in a movie… that’s it.  We’re done until Oct 1st.

Why am I writing about this?  Well first of all this blog has been staring at me with puppy dog eyes for months now.  It was hungry for content.  Second of all, I’ve been thinking for a while that I wanted to write about how Aniyia and I manage money.  It’s something I take very seriously and it’s something a lot of people have trouble with.  So I’m hoping someone gets something out of it.

Anyway back to the budget.  On the surface, everyone knows what a budget is.  Basically you say “here’s how much I have to spend.  After this, I have to stop.”  But when you try to live on a budget on a daily basis, you realize the rules are pretty vague.  For instance, does that mean I’m gonna be broke if I spend this $22?  Nah, this is only part of my budget.  I won’t be hurting if I spend an extra $10.  Does it mean something bad will happen if I go over my budget?  Not really.  I’m not going to overdraft my account or miss any bill payments.  So you’re thinking, what’s the big deal?  It’s not that I can’t go see both movies, I’m just depriving myself.

And you are exactly right.

The only problem with that thought is that going over my budget is a really big deal to me.  I choose to deprive myself of things so that I can be financially stable. If that doesn’t seem like a very revolutionary concept then you should read it again.  Then you should ask yourself, are you financially stable?  If the answer is no, then you should read it again.

I have read a lot of books and blogs about how to get out of debt.  They all have different tips, tricks and techniques that they want you to try.  And some of them are good.  But the real secret, and the one they all agree on is this:

The only way to save money or pay off debt is to spend less money than you make.

It’s really a simple concept.  If you have make $10 you can only spend $9.  If you make $30,000 you can only spend $29,000.  It’s up to you how much you save.  But unless you can make it to the end of the month and still have some money left, then you fail.  Plain and simple.

But this is an extremely difficult thing to actually accomplish for most people.  Because there’s always something to spend more money on.  There are so many awesome things you can have if you just spend more money.  A couch for your new apartment or a trip to Vegas or the super HD cable package.  Not to mention all of the bills that you absolutely have to pay.  It doesn’t matter how much money you make in a month, you can find a way to spend it all on if you want to.  Just ask MC Hammer.

But I realized something important a while back.  The money I make is not mine.  I’m just borrowing it.  It really belongs to all the creditors I owe.  Credit cards, car note, student loans, other miscellaneous crap.  At one point, when I added it all up, I owed them a grand total of half of the money I make in a year! (and I get paid pretty well)  When I realized that it made me sick.  I felt crushed under the weight and felt like I was in a cage.  I had to get out.  So I had to take steps.

I decided to start spending less so that I could dig myself out of the massive hole I dug for myself.  And over the last few years I’ve paid off around $20,000 in debt.  Since Aniyia and I have started working together we have completely paid off her credit card debt.  Which was killing her at the beginning of last year.  That may seem impressive, but we’re not done yet.  I still have credit cards and a car note.  So every day, I make sacrifices so that I can keep money in my pocket.  And it goes towards my goal of being completely debt free.

So let me outline how our personal budget works.  These are the basic principles that help us make decisions:

• Our budget includes every last dollar we make. You have to think of everything, and nothing is too small to be counted.
• We break down our expenses so we can see and understand what we spend. Once you really see how much you spend every month, it’ll probably make you sick too.  But this is an important step.
• We track every dollar that comes in and goes out.  You should never end up with that feeling that you don’t have any money and you don’t know where it went to.
• If we spend money on something.  It has to be accounted for in the budget. Your car broke down?  You have to go to a friend’s wedding?  Those are unexpected right?  Not really.  These things happen all the time.  You should expect them.  What you really mean is that they are unplanned for. You can account for these things in your budget.  More on that later.
• Every extra dollar goes towards our goal. For us it’s paying off debt.  For you, this could be saving for a house or a car.  It depends on what’s important to you.  The point is you have to have a goal.  If you can’t say exactly why you’re saving that dollar, you won’t.

I’ll try to talk about each of these things individually in future posts.  But can you see why going to an extra movie is a no go?  Every dollar has to be accounted for.  I don’t have a magic pair of pants that always has an extra 10 dollar bill in it.  That $10 is already promised to go somewhere else.  So if I do spend it, what else doesn’t get paid? Any extra money is coming out of another part of the budget.  If I choose to see an extra movie, I also have to decide what else to give up.

Is it coming out of the food budget?  I could skip one meal eating out, but we’re pretty tight on the food budget this month too.  Is it gonna come out of the water bill money?  Some people might choose that, but I kind of like taking showers.  The only other place it can come from is the money we’ve set aside to pay off my debt.  And that is unacceptable.

To me, a budget means knowing what you’re giving up if you spend too much money. Every time I spend more than I planned, I’m making a choice to stay in debt an extra day.  Thanks but no thanks.  I’ll just catch Surrogates on Netflix in a few months.  That’s already included in the budget.

I promise future posts will have more substance than this one.  I want to talk about how to actually setup a budget and how to live with it.  So stay tuned.

How Rich is Rich Enough?

Since I started it a little over a year ago, this blog has turned into mostly political commentary.  This bothered me a little at first, but the truth is it makes the most sense right now.  I’ve lived in the Washington D.C. area for 4 1/2 years now, and up until recently, I had managed to steer clear of the political fervor that permeates this place.  But if you stay here long enough, I think it’s impossible for the political atmosphere not to make an impression on you.  It’s at the forefront of my thoughts now, and since this blog is the place where I put my foremost thoughts… well, there you go.

However I do feel that it’s time to bring the original theme of this blog back into focus.  I want to be rich one day, so I’ve been thinking a lot about what that means.  More specifically, what does that mean in light of the political and economic turmoil that we’re going through right now?

I’ve been conflicted about what it means to be rich lately.  If you asked me “Do you want to be Rich?” I would answer much the same as the author of this blog post did.  I just want enough money to not have to worry about it.  I think the majority of us just want to feel safe and secure.  We want to go have some fun occasionally and not worry about losing our house.  But then it struck me that this might be the real problem.  This definition is too vague.  How much is enough?  How rich do you have to be before you don’t worry about it anymore?

I was all on board with the outrage against paying AIG executives bonuses.  It’s seems ridiculous.  One of the first things a business does when it’s struggling is cut salary bonuses, right?  It just makes sense from a purely economic standpoint, right?  But like so many other things that have outraged America recently, the facts aren’t as simple as that.  Yesterday I read the already infamous resignation letter from a top executive at AIG. And like a lot of people, I felt bad for the guy.  If the situation is anything like how  Jake DeSantis paints it, all the political wrangling and the public outrage are actually making things worse.  We, the public, are on the outside and we don’t really understand the inner workings of Investment Banking.  We’re given these shallow, dumbed-down explanations of things because we demand them, and because they make for good news ratings.  And then we are given the power to dictate how things should go, based on our limited understanding.  And in the process, AIG loses someone like this guy who seemed like he was really trying to help.

But that’s not the point of this story.  I want to contrast that story with this one about the top paid Investment Bankers for 2008. Last year, one person made $2 billion dollars for doing the job that is bankrupting America this year. Let’s use the zeros here because it makes things a little more upsetting.  That’s $2,000,000,000.  That’s bailout money, and it went to one guy.  That boggles my mind.  Let’s put it on a scale.  If you made $100,000 a year, you’d probably be pretty happy right?  Well for every $1 you would’ve made last year, this guy made $20,000.  Let’s put it another way.  The money that one guy made last year could provide a decent middle class income for 50,000 people.  At a time when all of the political talk is about job creation, that guy is getting paid the equivalent of 50,000 American jobs.

Some people might say that kind of comparison isn’t fair.  But when we’re talking about this kind of wealth gap, fair doesn’t even factor in.  So after putting all of this together, I feel a lot less sympathetic toward Mr. DeSantis.  He received over $700,000 in bonus money for his work last year.  During his time as an investment banker for AIG, he has probably made more money than the average American will see in their entire lifetime.  More money than anyone has a right to expect.  And he himself even admits that he doesn’t really need it at this point:

I know that because of hard work I have benefited more than most during the economic boom and have saved enough that my family is unlikely to suffer devastating losses during the current bust. Some might argue that members of my profession have been overpaid, and I wouldn’t disagree.

The thing that is most disturbing about this statement is that it makes me jealous. There is no way I could go a year without pay.  Even if I did, there is no possible way I could decide to give up that pay when it finally came at the end of the year.  No matter how “disappointed and frustrated” I was that my employer didn’t support it.

If you want my 2 cent analysis of this whole bonuses episode, that’s what it boils down to.  Ordinary people are really getting a sense for how much these people on Wall Street are making, and it’s infuriating.  Because we’re all looking for that kind of security.  We get up every day and struggle to figure out how to get there.  We work just as hard as Jake DeSantis claims he has, but we aren’t rewarded so handsomely.  He is rich by all of the standards that I measure against.  Yet he acts indignant because we are asking him not to steal our money in his effort to get richer. We’re still trying to make it.  What he has now should be enough.

So after all this, I’m left to consider my own future.  What if I succeed in my efforts to get rich?  When will it be enough for me?  At what point will I be able to stop and say “This is enough, I don’t really need any more.”  Especially if it means taking it from others who are still struggling to get there?  That’s a tough question.  And I think it’s clear that most people on Wall Street aren’t even asking it.